Pre-Marriage Counselling

 

It's always a good idea to seek out pre-marriage guidance if you are going to be married or move in with your partner and live together as a de-facto couple for the first time.  I work with young people who are starting out on their first long term relationship helping them discuss their strengths, beliefs, goals, desires, expectations and hopes for their union alongside helping them deal with practical considerations around money and sharing household chores.

Overview of Pre-Marriage Sessions

1.  Who am I and Where did I come from?  Looks at your Expectations and Beliefs in the context of your Family of Origin.  You may have an expectation that you want to be in an equal partnership; your belief therefore will be that household chores should be shared between the couple.  Further down the track sometimes there can be disappointment when expectations don't live up to the reality of your situation, that is why it is useful to be very clear at the start regarding your hopes and goals for the union.

2.  Communication is the key.  You will be given tools to help you speak assertively and listen carefully to your partner so when conflict arises you will know how to deal with it. 

3.  Decision Making.  This can be a challenge for couples moving in together as all sorts of practical as well as emotional decisions will need to be made so both parties feel heard and involved in the decision making process. 

4.  Commitment.  You have just made one of the biggest decisions of your life to move in together or get married.  What are your views on commitment, how will you sustain your commitment to each other over the years?

5.  Emotional & Sexual Intimacy.  How will you manage intimacy with another person when you are living under the same roof?  What does intimacy look like to you and how will you regulate your sexual or emotional intimacy to ensure both your needs are met?

6.  Spirituality & Goals for the Future.  Even if you are not formally religious you may feel a special bond or connection with your partner; how will you nurture this over the years and what kind of a future do you envisage for your relationship?